Statements to Boost Your Spirited Child’s Self Esteem

Whew, those spirited kids, amirite?? They’re some of my favorite kids to work with in therapy, because they will ask the big questions, they’ll share exactly how they’re feeling, and they’ll absolutely let you know when they’ve been wronged. One thing that can be difficult with these kids is that they may get a lot of redirection throughout their day. Parents, teachers and peers may say things like:

• Don’t be so mean to your sister

• Let’s really listen to the other person’s perspective

• I need you to pay attention

• It’s someone else’s turn to talk now

• No more complaining

• Does everything have to be an argument?

• I don’t like your tone

• Please be respectful

• Show some gratitude

• Use your manners

• The world doesn’t revolve around you

• Focus

• Listen to me

While some redirection is necessary, I imagine it would wear on a kid to hear these statements over and over. When you find yourself having to address issue after issue, it can be difficult to see some positives. Parents and kids can then get into a pattern of kids only hearing or focusing on critical comments, and parents only seeing or focusing on the negative behaviors. To prevent or break out of that cycle, it’s helpful to have some positives at the ready. These kids will know if you’re blowing smoke, so make sure you’re sharing genuine positive sentiments.