The Definitive Answers of All Things North Pole
Full disclosure, I have never met Santa. But over the past 20 years I’ve worked with so many kids and families and heard so many little holiday stories and details that I’ve pieced together quite a lot about the mystery man, his processes, elves, logistics, and the like. I’m going to share with you here everything I’ve put together over the years. Now, I make no guarantees about the accuracy of my statements, so feel free to fact check me if you have other details. Without further ado-
Is Santa real?
Of course. And every time any of us do anything kind for someone else without needing credit, we are acting in the spirit of Santa also.
Why do some families have elves and others don’t?
The adults in a home have to approve getting an elf, or Santa won’t place one there (consent is important!) The tricky part is that you don’t know when you agree to have an elf come to your house if it will be a well-behaved elf who just sits on a shelf or if it will be an out of control elf who reeks havoc like a rabid racoon. Many parents have decided it’s just not worth the risk of possibly getting an out of control elf who will potentially make a mess and cause chaos during this busy and important time of year.
Why are elves for sale at Target?
This is a logistics question. Due to the scope of the elf project, Santa needs lots of help. Several retailers have stepped in to help Santa process the elf registrations of which elves are registered to which homes. Think of trying to keep up with thousands of elves and which kids they’re keeping an eye on, and you can understand. When you purchase an elf, the barcode gets scanned to your specific family. That way, if any elves get lost Santa knows exactly where to send them back to.
Does Santa make all the toys?
Can you imagine?! From what I understand, Santa used to make ALL the toys for all the kids around the world. That was back when the most popular toys were wooden trains or rocking horses, simple baby dolls, blocks, or maybe a basketball. There really weren’t that many options, so it was all streamlined. Maybe Santa made 25 different types of items and was able to mass produce 400 rocking horses or 250 baby dolls. Now, two things have changed. 1. Toys are a lot more complicated. Toy phones really work, baby dolls can talk and come with a potty, and rarely are toy trains wooden or simple. 2. The internet has changed the way we shop and also what we are exposed to. One hundred years ago if a Betsy Wetsy wasn’t at my local store, I never would have seen one. Now, I can watch someone unbox one on Youtube from 4,000 miles away. These two things mean it has made it much more difficult for Santa to make everything on his own. He makes some things, and he does special collaborations with stores for the others.
Can Santa make me a hot air balloon, a rocket ship, or a dinosaur?
No. Just like with the elves, parents have to approve any big ticket items, AND that would be really complicated to fit in the sleigh. Also, we saw what happened with Jurassic Park when they tried to bring dinosaurs back. It was not good.
Can Santa take away my peanut allergy or my anger?
Negative. Remember, he’s not a wizard. Santa has some magic, but it is limited and again, parents have to approve any big ticket items. Also, he doesn’t want to change who you are, because your peanut allergy and your feelings are things that make you special.
Why can’t you touch an elf?
I’m probably not supposed to disclose this, but the main reason that we aren’t supposed to touch the elves is that they don’t like getting sticky or slobbered on. I know that seems silly, but’s it’s easier to make one rule for kids of all ages than it is to make some rules for little sticky slobbery kids and another set of rules for kids who are less sticky and slobbery. You know, it’s a risk the elves take when they move in with a family.
What if I touched my elf?
It’s okay, truly. The elves with calm personalities who are more likely to sit on a shelf are less affected by an accidental touch. The wild elves who wreak havoc and cause chaos all the time may be more affected by it- it seems anything can set them off. If you’ve accidentally touched the elf, just apologize and sprinkle a little cinnamon nearby and they’ll be fine.
Can I visit the North Pole?
Not that I know of, but let me know if you hear differently. From what I understand, there’s a combination of treacherous terrain, very tight security, and longstanding Covid protocols to keep Santa and his crew healthy.
Why do kids always have to help Santa save Christmas in holiday movies?
I have asked myself this many times. The best reason I can come up with is that holiday movies are written by adults, and adults think that kids want to see movies where kids help Santa save Christmas. In real life, I don’t think he’s ever had a Christmas eve emergency or been unable to do his job.
What are Santa’s favorite cookies?
Sugar cookies, but really anything without nuts. He doesn’t want to potentially touch something with nuts and then go to someone’s house who has an allergy. He’s always thinking of others, that one. I’ve also heard he likes carrots and hummus, apples, cheese, and grapes, so a charcuterie board might really hit the spot.
What if we forget to leave out a snack?
No worries! He can’t eat everything that gets left out for him anyway, and Santa doesn’t want to waste food.
What if we don’t have a chimney?
I think Santa also uses doors like regular folks. I’ve never heard of not having a chimney being an obstacle for delivery.
What’s the deal with the magic of the sleigh and being able to go to so many places in one night?
Honestly, this one is over my head. I’m no engineer or magician, but the best I understand it has something to do with being strategic with time zones, the aerodynamics of reindeer, lots of planning and efficient packing, extensive rehearsing in advance, and well-timed shifts in thermonuclear atmospheric pressure. Anything more than that is above my paygrade.
Why does Santa wrap presents for some kids and not for others?
Again, parents get to choose what they prefer. Some parents are really into the excitement of unwrapping, others prefer to think about the environment and reduce paper consumption and/or a mess in their house. All of the options are in the survey you get when you first become a parent.
Why do some kids get more than others from Santa?
Santa likes to be as fair as possible. Sometimes kids don’t get gifts from anyone else in their lives, so Santa might give them a little extra. For kids who have grandparents and friends and/or neighbors to share the holidays with, Santa knows they don’t need quite as much. If you hear about a kid getting more than you from Santa, you can assume Santa felt bad for them and did what he could to make their Christmas special.
What does Santa want from me?
He just wants you to be yourself! There’s no need to worry about Santa’s expectations or whether you’re on any list. Santa doesn’t want you to be stressed about the holidays, and he doesn’t have to come to your house if you don’t want him to. Just let your parents know to send in a letter saying no thanks on the visit this year, and you can decide what you want next year closer to next December. You can change this preference at any time.
Was it the real Santa that I got my photo with recently?
Maybe. Due to the business and busy-ness of the season, Santa has a limited schedule of personal appearances. He has lots of helpers that get training and practice in being a Santa substitute for kids during the month of December. That includes taking photos, maintaining wish lists, listening to kid requests, and generally being jolly. If you have encountered a Santa substitute who had subpar Santa service, please report them to the North Pole as soon as possible.
Does Santa have an opinion on mass consumerism?
Of course Santa believes that it’s better to give than to receive, and that the real joy comes from knowing you’ve blessed someone else in some way. He’s committed his whole life to this idea. He loves to reduce, reuse, and recycle, and in fact if you have any old broken toys lying around that you don’t play with anymore, you can leave them for Santa and he’ll fix them up and give them to other kids next year.
Did the real Santa appear in the commercial I saw for (specific brand)?
Probably not. Companies will do anything to get your attention, sometimes even using actors that may have a Santa vibe. As a general rule, Santa does not endorse any specific brands, not even Coca Cola. Companies might have you believe that you are defined by the things you have, but Santa believes you’re only defined by what’s in your heart.
Why didn’t Santa get me exactly what I wanted?
There are a variety of reasons this may happen. It can be disappointing, but it’s helpful to know it’s almost never because a kid isn’t good. Some reasons why your request might not be under the tree:
Your parents vetoed your request.
Supply chain issues.
It wasn’t the right developmental level for you (too difficult/too easy for you)
Strike at the shipping ports
It wasn’t safe
The commercial looked cool, but Santa was not impressed with the quality of the real product.
Increased tariffs on imported goods
Santa may have been taking a stand against that company’s unfair labor policies
It was all sold out
Can Santa make me a new sibling?
Nope. That’s not how that works. But if you want to understand more about how it does work, have your parents check out this course: Talking to Kids About Sex and Safety. It has all the real information you’re looking for.
