Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, Revised

Do you ever feel that pressure to give your child everything they want? When they hit you with the “everybody else has a Kendra Scott necklace” or “I NEED an iphone for homework apps” it’s easy to feel guilty for your child feeling left out. Most of us don’t want our kids to feel left out, but we also cannot- or don’t want to- acquiesce to their every whim.

Here’s a reminder that those tangible items are usually not basic needs. If it’s a status symbol, you’ve likely mastered the basic needs on the hierarchy and are well into love, belonging, and self-worth, reaching into self actualization. If your child wants a stanley cup and you want them to have one, by all means, knock your heart out. Get the little decorative straw toppers and a mini bogg bag to dangle from the side. There’s no harm in having a cup they want.

But if you can’t afford all the latest gadgets and gizmos and the most expensive Yeezys, it doesn’t mean you aren’t meeting your child’s needs. If you need permission to say no, this is it. They may think their life is ruined, but I am here to remind you: Your child will be just fine and they are already getting everything they need because they have a home and food and love and safety and stability and friends and family.