Understanding Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria

Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD) is not a diagnosis, but can be a symptom of ADHD. RSD is when a child (or adult) feels like they’re being rejected when they are redirected or reprimanded, even if that is not what the other person intended. It’s an intense incongruence between the situation and the person’s perception of the situation. It’s difficult to convince someone with RSD that they aren’t being rejected, because they genuinely feel like they are. 

Since RSD isn’t a cognitive or logical issue, it’s difficult to respond to it cognitively or logically. Remind your child that their action does not define who they are as a person, and that you will always love them no matter what mistakes they make. Normalize making mistakes in your family and talk about mistakes so that they aren’t a topic to be avoided or devastated about- just a simple part of life.

Of course this is easier said than done. When someone is sensitive to criticism it can be difficult to talk them out of being sensitive, because that can also feel like a criticism. Understand that your child is not trying to be manipulative or get out of being in trouble- their emotions are real. It can sometimes be difficult to find the balance between validating their feelings and also maintaining boundaries that it's okay to address mistakes.